Its Ok Not To Feel Ok :-*

Hi everyone,

I hope you've all had a lovely week! Mine's been good, really good.. I kept it all fairly together... Fairly... I mean I might have almost cried to a complete stranger, came out in a rash and sweated profusely after I lost my car keys in class on Tuesday only to find them 10minutes later in the zip part of my handbag.. sneaky fuckers. But other than that little glitch I owned this week and I think a huge part of that has been down to this blog.. Starting this, I never really considered how much I might enjoy it, I never considered that so many of you might read it and I really never considered the fact that so many of you might open up to me, knowing first hand how easy it is to not talk about it, to not talk about anything.. you know, just putting a face on it and
getting through day by day. We are all guilty of it.. but what if we didn't? What if we stopped?  What it we listened to eachother? Like really listened, not nodding and politely smiling and thinking about what we might say next, just focusing on eachother, on what we're saying, really hearing eachother. We get so busy trying to portray ourselves in a certain way.. The way in which society says we should be.. having all our shit together, juggling all the balls, keeping them all in the air... We feel inadequate and useless if we can't easily maintain these standards, that really, we've set for ourselves.. We've set ourselves up to fail, that is our harsh reality.

The people I've met this week, the stories they've shared, I've been blown away.. we don't give ourselves enough credit the knocks that life serves us, did u ever think about the strength and determination it takes to get back up, to keep putting one foot in front of the other
and just keep pushing on, its amazing what we are capable of when we put our minds to it!! So why don't we stop the pretence? If your having a shit time.. say it, if your feeling great share what's making you feel good, talk to eachother, but most importantly listen to eachother, sometimes thats all someone needs.. Someone willing to listen. We've tried the whole pushing our dark days down into a box and sitting on them, trying our best to suffocate the life from them while we give award winning performances on how great we are at holding it
all together. You all know of my dark days, it was terrifying at first I wanted to run and hide, but it's out there now and you know what? It feels pretty fucking liberating!! Apart of me feels like a brazen bold child (you know the one that tells all of your secrets at a packed table and lets you down with a bang) You make the "please if you just shut up I'll supply you with a lifetime of chocolate buttons" face, but no they can't be silenced they're on a roll and lets face it.. probably enjoying watching you squirm in your seat.. And squirm I do.. After every single one of these posts.. I can't help myself, the doubt creeps in.. But it passes.. and once its out there its out there. So I own it, admittedly rather awkwardly but I own it all the same!! I dampen the doubts using mostly the feedback from you all, the fact that my inbox has turned into a chat forum for anyone who can relate to me, the fact that its helping, talking is helping... listening is helping.

The thing I'm taking from this week is,  every single person you encounter is going through or has been through something, We all have our own battles to fight and we all hold the power.. We can keep sticking our heads in the sand, keep the pretence going, we can choose to ignore it... Or, we could choose to try something different... We could choose to listen, We could choose to talk and maybe together we could all stop the pretence.. Take the pressure off and start building eachother up again rather than tearing eachother down.

"It's okay not to feel okay", And I promise you it really is.

Mammysbrightside xxx

Comments

  1. "It's okay not to feel okay" - What a great mantra. It's so important to give your self permission to not always be at your best and understand life is a journey.

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